Solving Classroom Discipline Problems
Your Instructor: James Thompson
Lesson 01
Chapter 4

Basic Needs

Too many of us think that we can achieve happiness by earning money, by accumulating things, or by waiting patiently for it to happen to us. Happiness, however, is achieved when we are able to satisfy our basic psychological needs in a balanced, varied way.

    —Robert A. Sullo

All of our behavior in life is linked to our desire to avoid sadness and achieve happiness. We achieve happiness when one or more of our basic needs are being met. We feel sad when our efforts to meet our needs are frustrated.

Therefore, when children choose to misbehave, they are not doing so just to disobey you or drive you crazy. They are choosing their behavior to meet a need.

Let's look at each of the five basic needs in detail so that we will develop an understanding of what they are and what part they play in behavior.

1. The Need for Survival

This need is the easiest to describe. All living creatures are genetically programmed to struggle to survive. The need to survive includes the need to satisfy hunger, thirst and sexual desire. The need for survival also means responding to physical threats and seeking safety and security.

2. The Need for Love and Belonging

This is the strongest of the basic psychological needs. The need to love and be loved, to belong and have friends, is almost as strong as the need to survive. When we feel unloved and alone, we are profoundly sad. Parents of teenagers are very familiar with this need. My 15-year-old son often expressed it as, "I want to be with my friends." And, as with all teenagers, his need for belonging and friendship usually takes precedence over chores, homework or most anything.

Dr. Glasser illustrates the intensity of this need for belonging in relating a conversation he had with a person who had just attempted suicide. When Dr. Glasser asked him why he had tried to kill himself, he replied that he was lonely and had felt lonely for so long that being dead seemed a better choice than living in such terrible pain.

Look inside yourself and think what your life would be like without your family or any friends, and you will see the critical importance of fulfilling the need for love and belonging.

3. The Need for Power

This is the most misunderstood of the psychological needs because we tend to think of power in a negative sense, as power over other people. The power that Dr. Glasser is talking about is a personal power, a sense of self-worth that comes from accomplishment and recognition.

The need for power is also the need to feel that we are in control of our own lives. When you give students orders or commands, you frustrate their need for power. When you give them choices, you satisfy their need for power and give them a feeling that they are responsible enough to have control over their own behavior.

When you praise students for the things they do well, when you recognize their accomplishments, you are satisfying their need for power. When students feel powerless, they attempt to satisfy this need by exerting power over others by bullying, acting out in class or disobeying rules (showing they are more powerful than the person who set the rules).

Teachers most often frustrate their students' need for power when they continually criticize or belittle them, saying things like: "You never can do anything right." "I never had this problem with your sister." "Why can't you behave like Johnny?" "You are a real disappointment to me." These types of statements chip away at children's self-worth, frustrate their need for power, and in the end cause more problems.

There is one simple thing all teachers can do to help their students meet this need. At least once every day, every single day, pay every student a compliment. You will be surprised at the impact this can have.

4. The Need for Freedom

This is the need for the freedom to choose how we live our lives, to express ourselves freely, and to be free from the control of others. We are fortunate to live in a society with considerable freedom, and we are free to make countless choices every day.

Helping children satisfy this need does not mean giving them the freedom to do whatever they want to do. When we talk about helping students learn about responsibility, we are talking about giving them the freedom to choose. For instance, consider the following statement by a teacher to a child: "If you do not do your work, you are not going to go to recess." Now, compare that statement to this one: "Of course, you can go to recess if your work is done. It is your choice."

We can accomplish the same thing, making sure work is completed, with either a threat or the offer of a choice. A threat frustrates the children's need for power and does nothing to meet their need for freedom. Offering a choice meets both their needs for power and freedom and teaches them about responsibility--it is their choice.

5. The Need for Fun

I look at the psychological need for fun as the ultimate, positive diversion. When you are having fun, you are very happy. You are so happy that whatever cares or concerns you might have melt into the background. When we are having fun, we relax, recharge our batteries and enjoy a much-needed relief from the pressures that surround us.

Dr. Glasser defines fun as the genetic reward for learning. This is very important to remember when dealing with children. Watch children when they are at play. They are constantly discovering, learning and having a great time. Whenever any of us discover something new, there is a sense of excitement and fun that accompanies the learning. One of the saddest comments a teacher can make is, "We are here in school to learn, not to have fun."

I have said before that punishment does not teach children anything. There is no fun in being punished. Not only is it painful, there is no learning and therefore no fun.

In summary, we all have five basic needs that we are continually attempting to satisfy. If we can teach children how to satisfy their basic needs without impinging on the needs of others, we have taught them how to be responsible.